Gone means gone.

My heart cured, finally. But why now I still feel something? I can't even tell myself why. I wasn't the person you thought of. I wasn't like what my friends said. The real me is just totally opposite of all this.

I'm brave. I can handle things well. I can be alone whether I go. I'm independent. I'm a good girl.

Nope. All these are nonsense!

Firstly, I'm not brave. I'm can't handle things well. I'm careless. I scare to be alone. I'm not independent (sometimes). I'm naughty. I'm lazy. I don't like people force me to do something I don't like to do. Like seriously, I'm not the shuyee you people know of. I'm just pretending. I get influenced easily by my friends and that is so true. I can't deny. For instance, the way they speak, the way they walk, the way the study, the way they eat and etc. With this, I would like to stress on how I speak and type short sms-es. I actually influenced by this special person in my life. He influenced me by typing short forms of Bahasa Malaysia and their language speaking. Like when they speak, they do add this "BA" word at the end of their sentence. I find it cute. I bet you guys can guess which country is he from now by referring the word "BA" at the end of the sentence. Try guessing. It's Sabah language.

Oh well. He is just so special to be my boyfriend even though he had hurt me many times. My friends said you're not good and I should dump you for the second time but I didn't. I still treat you as my guy. I ignore what they said bad about you and I still love you like nobody business. I know I hurt you too by commenting this F*** word to my other boy friend's wall and you saw it. You have been sad and cry for the whole day JUST BECAUSE OF THIS! At last, you come to me and ask me whether I still love you. Now I wanted to tell you that when you ask me this question, I CRIED and answered you "Of course I do! I love you! You're my precious jewel." Still remember, boy? I can't live without you seriously.  But I can't do anything to get back your heart I guess. Although you say you love me still, you're willing to get back with me but I don't feel you now. I really don't. Perhaps everything has gone, means GONE.